Written by P.M. Wortham
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Thursday, 4 November 2010

image for Lil' Wayne Fights to Restore Happy Meals in San Francisco
The kids Happy Meal no longer available in San Francisco

Shocked at the news over the Happy Meal ban in San Francisco, a regular stomping ground for the recently incarcerated recording artist, Lil' Wayne has gone "full guns", if you'll pardon the pun, to lobby against the ban.

Quickly getting his contractual affairs in order back in the N-Y-C, Lil' Wayne and his lawyers are reportedly set to take on this cause, "as a public service for all my little homies out there", as Wayne put it. Chief recording engineer, Henry "Harvard" Knuckles tells reporters, "Lil' Wayne loved Happy Meals as a kid and sees this move by San Francisco officials as petty and exclusionary for inner city kids". Wayne, who didn't appear to understand a whole lot of Knuckles quote added, "Yeah, and it punishes poor kids in the hood too".

Critics tend to agree with Wayne, but typically on this issue alone. They had some trouble partnering up to Wayne after song releases like "Alphabet Bitches", "Ganstas and Pimps", and "Pop that Pussy". His heart is true, as his dawgs and ho's will tell you. "The man is all about the kids, you know?" says lifelong friend and bodyguard, Phil The McNasty.

"Mr. Wayne knows that kids don't eat this stuff every day. It's a treat when they get a chance to order a Happy Meal. They aren't going to say "Thank you" to mom for buying a Tofu Meal or Haystack Meal. The premise is ridiculous", says Knuckles, a Harvard Magna Cum Laude recipient.

Wayne and his entourage are expected to land at San Francisco airport sometime tomorrow afternoon to continue the fight against this kid oriented injustice. "They best put those Happy Meal burgers back on the grill, or they gonna get my grill all up in their grill", said Wayne.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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