Written by P.M. Wortham
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Wednesday, 3 November 2010

image for Pelosi Takes New Job at Nordstroms in San Francisco
Shopping for the red dress, this shopper also purchased gloves and shoes. Well done, Nancy.

Ousted as the Speaker of the House of Representatives just a day before, Nancy Pelosi has agreed to take on the role of "Add On Sales Marketing Director" for all of Nordstrom's west coast operations.

The new role will be very similar to her old job, where she will look to build a marketing program that adds on bigger ticket accessories to an already expensive primary purchase. "Nancy has always had a sense for fashion and a flair for adding on trinkets and accessories to both clothing ensembles and national budgets", says former Pelosi aide and new manager in charge of belt buckles, Carrie Mooredett. "But I think Nancy will rock this job!".

Pelosi has already had an impact in the San Francisco downtown store, moving the jewelry and shoe departments closer to the business and formal dress shop. "That way, we can look to pile on more items before the customer even leaves the dress area", says Mooredett. "Too bad she could only do it to the government once, because here she can do it to every customer who walks in the front door".

Said one woman shopper who was later identified as Carly Fiorina, "I walked in for a new dress and walked out with $790 of added accessories. I feel like I've been Pelosi'd, but I kind of liked it".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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