Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 12 October 2010

image for Bristol Palin Wants To Quit 'Dancing With The Stars' After Placing 8th - Mama Palin Tells Her "Nope! Ya Know The Palins Don't Quit"
If Bristol Palin's dancing does not improve, she may find herself back home in Wasilla, Alaska pretty soon.

HOLLYWOOD - It was quite a rough night for Bristol Palin on the latest edition of Dancing With The Stars.

Bristol and her partner Mark Ballas finished dancing their rumba number to the song "Umbrella" and an embarrassed young Palin surely must have wished she would have had an umbrella to hide behind.

The unmarried daughter/mommy of Sarah and Todd Palin sad to say is beginning to look a little bit like last years listless dancer, Kate "Graceless Kate" Gosselin.

Bristy, as her mom calls her, had that deer in the headlights look, a look that her mom, "Shotgun" Sarah has no doubt seen hundreds and hundreds of times out in the wild white wilderness of snow-laden Alaska.

Bristol's partner, Mark Ballas, who has twice won the coveted Mirror Ball Trophy for first place, tried to focus attention off of young Palin's non-moving feet by having her take off his shirt and exposing his abs.

Judge Len "The London Grouch" Goodman did not appreciate that little 'physical act' and really let Ballas have it saying that he was just trying to do a Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino imitation.

Another sad part about the whole dance routine was that Mr. and Mrs. Todd Palin and daughter Piper were in the audience trying to look as if their daughter had just turned in a stunningly great performance.

An audience member sitting behind nine-year-old daughter Piper says she heard the little girl say to her mommy, after Bristol had finished dancing, "Mommy, I think we may be heading back to Alaska pretty soon."

Sarah replied, "Shhhh Piper, ya know our little Bristy did way better than that Jersey Shore fella "Situated" Serendipity (sic).

After the show, Sarah went backstage where she found Bristol in tears and munching on a lobster. Bristol told her mom that she wanted to quit since she had finished 8th out of nine. Her mom grabbed her hand, putting the lobster off to the side momentarily, and told her "Nope. Ya know Palin's don't quit."

SIDENOTE: Sarah Palin's ex-future son-in-law Levi Johnston was asked if he saw the show and if he had voted for Bristol. He grinned and replied that he watched the show but that he had voted for Audrina Patridge.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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