Written by lev
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Topics: God, Glenn Beck

Saturday, 9 October 2010

After years of spreading his rhetoric on airwaves across the country, Glenn Beck finally announced on Friday that he was in fact the son of God. He stated that he wanted to keep it a secret from the rest of the world so that people did not think that he was a lunatic, but he now feels that he has a strong enough following that he is able to "come out" and say it with pride.

This announcement has been met with both skepticism and support on both sides of the aisle. Jim Calloway, a long time Beck supported stated that he felt comfortable with this announcement.

"I always knew that he was special, I just didn't know how special he could get" he said "It all makes sense now."

Others however, are not as quick to accept this statement and challenge his self proclaimed status. "It is impossible for him to be the son of God, God was not a mormon" claimed a woman on the street buying a hot dog.

The National Association for Christian Confirmation gave a statement this week saying that they will evaluate Mr. Beck's claims and release a confirmation later this week either supporting or denouncing this claim.

Researchers have developed a test that will be used to find out if he is in fact the son of God. This test is called "So, You Say You are Jesus." It is a similar format to Who Wants to be a Millionaire except you do not get to phone a friend.

Sarah Palin gave a comment early this morning at a press conference "If he is the second coming of Christ, it will be a positive step for our nation. We can ask him how he feels about moral issues such as gay marriage and abortion and finally sort this whole thing out."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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