Giving credence to the rumour that 50-Cent has f--ked every single woman in the world under 200 lbs and/or 45 years old, he's started dating 50-something Grammy host-epicfail Chelsea Handler.
And Chelsea put the rumours to rest at the craft services table of her show, Chelsea Unfunny, which airs right after the Billy Mays Informercial Hour Of Power on E!.
"Chelsea was eating her lunch," said a Chelsea Unfunny production assistant. "And, as she always does, let loose a huge burp. Just then, the entire room smelled like 50-Cent."
Handler got her start as 50's personal testicle-emptier after the odd-couple went to a bar in New Orleans on Tuesday evening.
"You could tell Fifty was trying to keep it on the DL, or what-have-you," said a caucasian waiter at the club, who should never, ever, EVER use phrases like 'keep it on the DL'. "But Chelsea was busy sticking her Blackberry down his pants, photographing his penis, then posting the pics onto her Twitter account."
That Chelsea Handler got her E! Show while sleeping with Ted Harbert who, as the CEO of Comcast Entertainment Group, oversees E! Entertainment Television? But her getting a show on E! was just a coincidence. HA!
That, although she is as wrinkled as David Brinkley, she is only 35?
"When she Tweeted, 'this will be in me by midnight', the entire room started laughing. It's the first time Chelsea Handler got a laugh!"
"It is our understanding that Mr. Cent was not on a date with Ms. Handler last night," said Fifty's manager. "She simply asked him to help her remove her dentures, which Mr. Cent did, with his gigantic c-ck, allegedly."
Handler's people had no comment, except to call her a 'mud shark', whatever that means.
*Allegedly. But we all know that didn't really happen. But it could have, you know, because everyone knows the '50-Cent is gay' rumour is a bunch of crap, right? Right?.