A leaked report has revealed that the government intends to deploy the bulk of the British armed forces to Las Vegas next spring.
Apparently, they are concerned that the influx of traumatized troops returning from Iraq and Afghanistan will have a detrimental effect on the only industry left in the country - that of tourism.
A spokesman for the MOD Lt Col Huffingham-Puffingham said "Britain has a standing policy of keeping the common soldiery as far away from UK residents as possible. Since the second world war they have been based in Germany, Egypt, Malta, Hong Kong, The South Atlantic, and more recently in Iraq and Afghanistan. Now that the troops are being slowly pulled out we needed to find somewhere that could cope with large numbers of young men who enjoy violence, heavy drinking and gambling. Las Vegas seemed the perfect place. At the moment the natives are friendly and it should be at least a couple of years before they start shooting and throwing bombs at our lads and we have to find somewhere else to send them".
An advanced party of the 14/25th Northern Lancers, together with their clapped out vehicles and poorly designed weapons is expected to arrive in Las Vegas by March.