Written by Noddy Bigears
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Topics: Georgia, Banana

Wednesday, 11 May 2005

TBILISI, Georgia (Pradava Press & Rumours), Gela Bezhuashvili, secretary of the National Security Council, confirmed today that some Soviet banana skins were found 100 feet from the tribune where Bush spoke yesterday. However, he explained that this was simply a tribute to George Bush's folk dancing routine. He expanded cheerfully "In Georgia, as a sign of respect to an expert folk dancer, either we throw banana skins or we drop them on the ground nearby where they may be noticed, it adds a bit of drama to the dance routine."

However, U.S. Secret Service spokesman Jonathan Cherry was less understanding declaring "The goal is clear - to frighten or to scare people and to attract the attention of the mass media," adding, "The goal has been reached and that is why I'm talking to you now. The U.S. Secret Service has clear guidelines on appropriate gifts, rewards and honors for the President and this includes only flowers, bribes and international ridicule, nothing else is acceptable and the Georgians were clearly briefed before the speech."

Gela Bezhuashvili, contradicted the U.S. Secret Service spokesman joking "come on, lighten up you guys, what problems can a few banana skins cause during a hip wobbling dance routine, sure - if somebody started throwing water melons even apples or maybe pineapples, now that could really get somebody hurt -but a few bananas?" He went on to explain "In Lithuania, they throw oranges, in Estonia its handfuls of cherries but here in Georgia we chuck bananas and banana skins, don't you guys know anything? Even I know that in the US you throw ticker tape but we just don't have that stuff here."

U.S. Secret Service spokesman Jonathan Cherry was prepared to concede one issue "There is really no need drop banana skins for George Bush to slip up on, he is quite capable of making a fool of himself without any help at all -we have still got 20 secret service guys searching his Moscow Hotel for his lost Nuclear Attaché case - you know the one with the big red button inside- strangely, he's still got President Putin's VE present, a new brief case chosen by Laura, who needs bananas?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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