Written by Morse
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

image for Obama Defies Critics: Mayor Daley 'eminently qualified to be Ambassador to Pakistan!"
Rahm Emanuel Takes to Chicago Trenches in Battle for Mayor!

With the announcement that Chicago Mayor Richard Daley is retiring, President Obama was faced with a new catastrophic hole to fill, and he wasted no time in plugging it announcing Daley would be his ambassador to Pakistan!

The Daley family has run the mayor's office for 42 of the last 55 years and according to Obama "is responsible for making Chicago what it is today!"

Critics say Richard Daley, (call me DICK) 68, saw the handwriting on the wall with the state and city unable to meet payroll obligations, buried under massive Union Pension payouts, abandoned houses, and an average of 35-72 gang related shooting every weekend, more during 3 day holidays.

By stepping down Daley opens the door for Presidential aide Rahm Emanuel to also escape the sinking ship of state that Obama has been steering on the rocks.

Emanuel hinted just months ago he'd 'just love to be Mayor of Chicago, if Mayor Daley decides to retire." (hint/threat)

With Daley instrumental in helping Obama get elected and squashing the Blago trial along with it's embarrassing revelations about Chicago Style Politics that have come to rule the White House, this is Barry's chance for payback.

Press Secretary Robert Glibb (sic) said it best, "who better to serve as ambassador to Pakistani in these critical times!"

Daley's father Richard J., helped buy the election for JFK, has always had ties to corrupt Union & Crime figures and is even rumored to have been one of the pall bearers for the highly secret burial of Teamster chief Jimmy Hoffa, who to this day is still listed as 'missing.'

The present ambassador to Pakistan is one Anne W. Patterson who is originally from ARKANSAS, and matriculated from exclusive Wellesley College
which makes her eminently qualified to handle US sensitive affairs in a country with a nuclear bomb, a daily wage of $1.50, is currently underwater, and pretends to hate the Taliban in order to suck more extortion money out of the wallets of American Taxpayers.

And then there's the cricket scandal which really cemented Obama's resolve to make the appointment. "I like their F*****g style," he reportedly said during pillow talk with close Chicago Confidant and Aide Valerie Jarrett.

"Finally," said Obama, " I'll have an ambassador on the ground in Pakistan who thinks and acts like them...I sense a break thru in relations!"

Daley's knowledge of manipulating off track betting, an expert at spreading around Bakeesh, aggressive negotiating involving knee capping, could make him the 'best ambassador America ever had' according to Mafia Capo Anthony "Tony Boy" Bologna who also serves as Treasurer of the Restaurant Workers Union in Chicago.

Emanuel would seem a shoo in for the office since he knows literally where all the bodies are buried in the windy city, and is not afraid to use high handed leverage to insure he gets the Democratic nomination.

He can be assured of the backing of Acorn, Reverend Wright, Andy Stern, and weatherman activists Bernadette Dohrn and Bill Ayers, the latter who currently enjoys life time tenure and a rich salary while teaching insurrection and advanced bomb making at the University of Chicago.

Even VP Joe Biden was stunned with the explosive announcement.

"Man," he said in a aside to Hillary, " this is a REALLY, REALLY BIG F******G DEAL....!"

The corrupt government in Pakistan was also shocked with bookies there betting 750-1 that Obama would show 'NO BALLS" on the Diplomatic Front.

Al Gore's "Green" Hedge Fund just upped their investment in Pakistan by 75% while selling ARKANSAS Hog Futures very short.

Make Morse's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 5?

9 10 24 25

Go to top ^