Written by Nick Hobbs
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Thursday, 19 August 2010

image for Hog Jaw, Arkansas Lights Cause Major Frights
A UFO, yesterday.

Locals in Hog Jaw, Arkansas, have witnessed strange lights in the night sky this Tuesday last.

Cletus Albright, forester, told us "well, I guess I shooda taken a picyture wit' ma telephone, but Mary-Lou was yakkin' to her momma, and wouldn't let me have it!"

The lights, thought to be that of UFO's, caused quite a stir.

"To think intelligent life would visit a lil ol' town like ours just makes you feel all giddy inside," said Sharon Butters, local beautician and abattoir technician.

Local USAF officials refused comment on the lights, insisting they had received no official reports, however Mr Albright assures us he contacted the base straight away.

"I definitely done did speak to them, honest I did!" he insisted whilst skinning a deer.

The lights appeared shortly after dusk and hovered in the same position for a few hours, before blinking out as if turned off by a switch.

In other news, the local baseball team are over the moon with their new stadium lights installed last Monday. The first match was played on Tuesday, and continued well into the night. The Hog Jaw Slackers beat the Booneville Stompers 9-7.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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