Written by Charpa93
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Tuesday, 10 August 2010

image for Connection Made Between Rand Paul and Bong Hits for Jesus

Just hours after the story broke in GQ magazine about the woman claiming to have been kidnapped and made to smoke pot from a bong by Rand Paul, another bombshell has hit the newsstands-Rand Paul may be the person behind the pop culture saying "Bong Hits for Jesus." Rand Paul, from Kentucky, is running for a US Senate seat on the GOP ticket.

Reporters have checked their sources and several people who attended college with Paul have confirmed that he was a very religious person back in those days and still is. They say Paul was always trying to convert people to Christianity and believe it's not such a stretch that he would try and do it by incorporating marijuana into the mix. Although now, they say he just does it through his political messages, sans pot.

One of those friends, Fred "Scooter" Weldon, said, off the record, that he and Paul were smoking a few bowls one evening and discussing religion when Paul started giggling and said "wouldn't it be funny if we could somehow make everyone take bong hits until they believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for their sins? He then came up with the idea "Bong Hits for Jesus." That night, Scooter claims he and Paul drew a sketch of a bumper sticker with those words on it, but once the high wore off, he stuck the drawing in one of his notebooks and forgot about it.

That is, until now. Scooter claims a few years ago his son, Scooter Jr. was going through some old college notes of his and came across the drawing and the rest is history. Said Scooter, "Knowing Rand the way we all did, I'm positive that if he did do what that girl is accusing him of doing, well, he had the best intentions. He just wants to spread the word of Jesus to every corner of the world like his pastor told him to. There ain't nothing wrong with that."


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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