Written by Morse
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Topics: Tax, John Kerry, Vietnam

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

image for John Kerry Denied Request for  4th  Purple Heart after  Wounds Surrounding Tax Battle Over  his $7m Yacht Turns Out to be Ketchup!
Kerry Plea to Public: Ketchup Made Me What I am Today...Blame the Wife!

Massachusetts Senator John "Swiftie" Kerry suffered yet another 'war wound' after it was discovered his $7M yacht, built in Australia, and berthed in Rhode Island, would not be taxed in Massachusetts, his official residence, sparking tax payer outrage.

At stake is a 6 1/2 % sales tax totaling $455,000, and an annual excise tax approaching $70,000 a year, a combined total that would have paid for at least half of Obama's Auntie Zulu's welfare, entitlement, and legal fees for the past 8 years until she suddenly received asylum behind closed Massachusetts court room doors. (hmmm, hmmm, hmmm)

Critics of Kerry are declaring it just 'another self inflicted wound", and cite
Boston Globe reports of Kerry appearing at a news conference smeared in blood from "an attack by a crazed Tea Party Fanatic " according to Kerry, which later was determined to be a lunch time mishap involving some fries and a Ketchup bottle with a defective top.

Only partially ironic is the fact that his current wife is the Heinz Ketchup heiress after her second or third divorce (who's counting), and the reason Kerry now may regret his naming of the over the top 76' yacht, "Heinz Site."

Kerry a Vietnam vet who renounced his service and those of his comrades in front of the senate, had bragged in those days after being discharged that "Jane Fonda sat on my Cannon first', a reference to Hanoi Jane seen appearing on anti aircraft guns in North Vietnam while flyers , including John McCain. were being abused in the Hanoi Hilton.

Kerry rode that horse to political office, and thanks to liberal Massachusetts
almost made it to the oval office before cooler and smarter heads prevailed.

A close reading of Kerry's service records, much like the undearly departed Congressman John Murtha's, reveal some question concerning Kerry's three
(3) purple hearts which enabled him to cut short a required 12 month tour by several months.

Redacted reports have indicated Kerry cut himself on a K-ration can, Slipped
on a wet deck banging his knee, and claimed shrapnel wounds during an air attack later attributed to a sea gull in the Mekong Delta, although to be fair, one crewman stated he thought John shot himself in the leg while practicing his quick draw from a flapped holster with his .45.

It appears that John also better be careful, less he be returned to poverty, as in a effort to distance himself from the firestorm he created in the Bay State from disgruntled taxpayers, as he flippantly told reporters questioning him about the yacht, "You better talk to my wife, she handles all the family finances!"

This refrain is not new for tax dodging Democrats, as both Charles Wrangle (sic) and Rev. Al Sharpton both publicly blamed their wives for mismanaging their tax obligations after they became public.

As Boston Herald columnist Howie Carr, always on top of corrupt politicians wished he had said, " Who would ever have thought to put ketchup on
a hotdog!"

Go ahead Howie, take it, it was just a throw away line!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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