Written by The Jonner
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Tuesday, 20 July 2010

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Shocking scenes today at the White House as an educated, wealthy white man in his forties ran around, doing what he was told by a black man.

David Cameron, the British Prime Minister, was obsequious to an alarming degree and even referred to Barack Obama as "Massa 'Bama." In much the same manner as the former Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, Cameron flew to Washington to be told by Obama to shut the fuck up and do as told by "the Boss."

At a press conference, Obama informed reporters that he had, "been clear and spoke in unambiguous language," about the 'special relationship' between the US and Britain, letting Cameron know that he will be expected to, "toe the line and do whatever the Hell I tell him, no matter how much it may stick in his craw."

Referring to the release last year of the Lockerbie bomber, Abel Baset al-Magrahi, who finally passed away in the past two hours, Cameron restated his point that he opposed the move. "I objected to it strongly on moral grounds,' before adding that he was also against the handing over of al-Magrahi because, "it pissed the Hell out of Gordon. Ha ha!" Obama also made mention of the bomber, stating that, "we get ours eventually, buddy, and no one better forget it. Hear me, Fidel? "

Cameron spoke of his anticipation at meeting Senators to discuss all aspects of the al-Magrahi case, telling the gathered journalists that he, "welcomes an American view, and I anticipate, perhaps, some different opinions from those of the President." Asked how he felt about these talks, Obama responded, "Jesus, let someone else look after him for a while. I can't stand the oily bastard."

When asked about the Gulf of Mexico disaster, Cameron attempted to reinforce the fact that while it is an environmental disaster without precedent in the US, BP is no longer a British company and is in fact owned by several different companies, including the US based BlackRock. However, upon each attempt, he was shouted down by Obama repeatedly screaming, "BRITISH petroleum! BRITISH Petroleum!" at the top of his lungs.

A visibly distressed Cameron stepped down from the podium, followed by a grinning Obama. Perhaps unbeknownst to the President, his microphone was still plugged in, and he could be heard to mutter, "What's this guy's name?' to an aide. When given a reply, he said, "Cameron? Where's Brown? I'd only just got used to getting his name right. Fuck it, they all do what they're told, anyway. just wait - I'm gonna tell him to give me a blow job later. Bet you he gets as far as undoing my fly before I stop him. If I stop him."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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