Written by Charpa93
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Friday, 16 July 2010

image for BP's Lavish Celebration over Capping of Oil Well Marred by Angry Protests
"We Want Palin...Michael not Sarah!

What should have been one of the happiest celebrations in a long time for BP today when it announced that the oil spill in the Gulf has been temporarily capped, leaving no oil spilling from beneath it, turned instead to another day of blame and forced accountability from the people whose lives along the Gulf Coast have been forever changed.

As the official spokesperson from BP stood atop a makeshift stage made to look like a replica of the Horizon platform, decorated with red, white and blue balloons and streamers, several hundred protesters were on hand to keep the company honest. With signs saying "Cap This" and "Tony Hayward is the "D" Word" hecklers were front and center to let him know in no uncertain terms that just because they were being treated to free wieners and soda pop, they weren't backing down from their original demand that BP make Louisiana and the rest of the Gulf Coast states whole before they hightail it outta town.

Before he could even get the first word of his prepared speech out, protesters started chanting, "Liar, Liar," drowning out his words. Finally, police were called in to settle the crowd down and he was able to speak:

"This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over whose fault the oil spill was. Let's just get past it and go have a hot dog together."

Stunned by his sheer genius to paraphrase from one of the most revered Monty Python movies of all time, "the Holy Grail," the crowd could do nothing but cheer him on and agree to let bygones be bygones. Soda pop for everyone!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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