Written by A MCRORY
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Topics: Oil Spill, bp

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

image for Ethnic swapping the answer to BPs woes?
If you spill it they will come

A phone-in caller may have provided BP with the answer to its increasingly dire problems concerning the Gulf Spill or 'The Spulf' as it is fast becoming known among US citizens with a penchant for single syllable labels.

The caller, known only as Bud suggested on Larry King Live that simply moving people around will help. Bud thinks that there are swathes of people who actually like to live and bathe in oils of any sort and he listed Texans, Alaskans, the Clampetts of Beverly Hills and anyone from the oil-rich Arab countries e.g. Dubai, Iran, etc. He also suggested that people who had never seen the sea and therefore wouldn't know how it looked 'pre-Spulf' could be persuaded to move to the Gulf of Mexico and Florida coast none the wiser.

"They could swap their homes and pets for oil-rich dwellings and oil-rich pets. "Anyone who loves their cat or dog or pig could grow to love their brand new crude-soaked pelican." said Bud, "And who wouldn't want to swim in a oily bubbling bayou? Hell I'd go the morrow if'n I could!"

BP chiefs are reported to be astounded by the caller's ingenuity and foresight with many of the company's trouble-shooters wondering why they didn't think of this 'ethnic-swapping' idea before.

President Obama has yet to comment on the new proposals but insiders say the Pres is so drained by this nightmare and how it will stain his once heralded term in office that he is willing to try anything.

When our reporter put the idea to him Mr. Obama said, "We won't rule out anything yet." While he scratched his left testicle, a sure sign say our body-language experts that 'The Spulf' is hitting him where it hurts.

Rumours are rife in the city that Bud will soon be headhunted by one of the big oil companies to lead their trouble-shooting teams.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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