Written by Orlando G Astlee
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Topics: Politics, Coffee

Thursday, 8 July 2010

image for Beverage Politics Heats up! - New Coffee Party gives grounds for existence

Today in Starbux, Illinois, the formation of a new political movement was announced at a coffee morning and bake sale at the village hall. "In response to the surge of Tea Party politics and general beverage influenced opinions, we the Coffee Party movement, are today giving notice that we aim to compete for a share of the hot, dark and wet world of political influence. We will roast petty naysayers, grind baseless complaints into dust, and infuse our rich essence into the mix" said Duncan Isgood, spokesperson and chief pot-stirrer for the movement.

The recent Tea Party sensation has been an attempt by the disgruntled right to create uncertainty and rebellion against the Obama government, and this appears to be an attempt by middle class democrats to counter this, in time for the upcoming mid term elections. A sort of caffeine boost for the government.

The campaign will focus on gathering support from lines at the coffee shops and espresso bars and will be led by guerilla cake distributors dressed as stressed businessmen or Abercrombie and Fitch-clad soccer moms

Lattay Frappucino, a frothy, skinny, full-of-beans supporter of the movement, said that they had hoped that they would be able to convince the Dairy lobby to join the new movement, but a dairy union representative - Rich Curd - said that there was not much interest. "The best they can hope for is half and half, but more likely closer to 2%..."

Tea Party supporter and sponsor, Earl Grey, said that the new movement were "making a mocha-ry of the political process....

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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