Written by Evan Essence
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Topics: Terrorism, France

Wednesday, 5 October 2005

image for US to Return Statue of Liberty to France

The skyrocketing National Debt...due in part, to the prolonged War on Terrorism...is forcing the Administration to take drastic measures to cut costs. Now, as many favorite programs are coming on the chopping block, the US Dept of the Interior has decided that it is no longer possible to pay for the upkeep of the Statue of Liberty on Ellis Island, and has reached an agreement with the French Embassy, to return the statue to its country of origin.

"We decided that paying for the upkeep of this arcane piece of pop-art is no longer a priority." Said Interior Secretary Norton. "We are spending millions of dollars every year to enhance border controls, and keep this flood of unwanted immigrants from entering this country.."

"The message... 'Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free'...
on a plaque at the base of the statue, is giving entirely the wrong impression. It makes these lazy, dirty masses of foreigners think they can just come over here and live on welfare for free."

At the French Consulate, ambassador Jean-David Levitte was quoted as saying, "We gave this as a gift, based on American sentiments at the time, but after the detentions at Guantanamo Bay and the atrocities at Abu Ghraib, we no longer think it is appropriate, or deserved. We would like to take it back, and see if we can find someone more deserving to give it to.."

"The feelings are mutual," said Sec. Norton. "We have been trying to halt the sale of French wine and other French imports in this country, so why should we allow this monstrosity to remain on our soil? It reeks of decadent socialism. You ougt to read the crap they believe in...just listen to their own slogan......'Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite...' Thats pure socialist rubbish. Like we are supposed to be friends with every low-lying piece of scum on earth."

"Anyway, we are a Republic, not a Democracy, and its time we keep all this subversive French socialist, revolutionary thinking out of this great country."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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