Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Tuesday, 29 June 2010

In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court ruled this week that Right to Life ends at birth. The ruling was part of the decision to allow all citizens of the United States to have and to carry weapons.

Justice Anthony Scalia speaking for the majority stated: "Every newborn in this country has a right to commit homocide, as much as they have a right to Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

As scholars rushed to evaluate the ruling and its many implications, day care centers across the country applied for permits to build shooting ranges and pastors have been conducting NRA "shoot to kill" training sessions for church deacons.

"It is time to get the automatic weapons out of the closet and into the pulpit," stated Pastor T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg, North Carolina. "I done baptized a newborn child with an AK-47 this morning. The little tyke grabbed at the gun, shot his own Daddy in the foot, and I want to tell you, it was a hoot!"

In related news, the Supreme Court ordered that the "Just Say No To Sex" programs in the US schools will be eliminated and replaced with,"Just don't think about It." Court observers were astounded that the court would make this kind of far reaching decision related to the schools. A reporter stopped Justice Scalia as he left the chambers.

"Justice Scalia," said the reporter, "Don't you think this, just don't think about it ruling is a bit over the top?"

Scalia apparently in deep concentration looked startled, took his hands out from under his judicial robes, and relied angrily, "Pussy?! Who said Pussy?! I never said pussy!!!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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