New Orleans, LA-- The Obama administration is completely out of ideas about how to stop the oil gusher in the Gulf of Mexico. Someone suggested that witches using White Magick might be used to stop the dreadful oil volcano and heal the sickly Gulf of Mexico. Homeland Insecurity hired two young witches to give it a try. It would only cost taxpayers $10 million.
Willow Stevens and Samantha Rosenberg were hired for the job. The two young women, both Obama supporters, claimed to be Wicca Princesses. Willow and Samantha told Homeland Insecurity they could control all aspects of Mother Nature. They stood on an oily beach, ready to give it their best.
Willow poured magical colored sand into the oily water, closed her eyes, and moaned. Samantha chanted the song 'Rhiannon' and murmured prayers to the goddesses Persephone and Aphrodite.
Nothing happened.
Willow and Samantha picked up their things, and collected their $10 million paycheck from Homeland Insecurity. President Obama was informed of their attempt and was very impressed.
"Ten million of my supporters tried to stop the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico. It only cost $2.00. This is a perfect example of how Green jobs can save our economy and our environment." said the world leader.
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