Written by Charpa93
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Saturday, 19 June 2010

image for Republican Lawmakers blame Daylight Savings Time, Obama for Recent Gaffes

Republican senators and representatives have been caught napping on the job more than usual these days, but they say they have a good excuse for their errant behavior-daylight savings time and Obama's insatiable appetite for curing all the country's ills in the four short years he'll be in office are just plain tuckering them out.

"We're making mistakes left and right," said Rep. Joe Barton (R-Texas) as an excuse for his attempt to explain why he apologized to the CEO of BP regarding the oil spill. "I'm so confused at this point as to whose side we're on that I'm making some really dumb mistakes." Other Republican lawmakers are echoing his comments.

Said Rep. John Boehner (R-Ohio) "Joe's got that one dead to rights. I can't remember a time when we've worked harder. Been in this seat for going on twenty years and never in my recollection has a President pushed like this guy is pushing us all to our outer limits. Everything that he (Obama) has put on the table, we are fighting tooth and nail. Do you know how much energy that consumes? Not only are we having to attend all his special hearings and meetings, but then we have to find time to secretly meet to advance our own agenda. It's taking its toll on us," complained Boehner between yawns.

But the blame game doesn't stop with Obama. The Republicans can only take that excuse so far. Their secondary complaint is daylight savings time. Whereas earlier in the year, when it got dark much earlier, the President had a tendency to break up meetings at around 6 or 7 p.m. and send everyone home for the day. "But now, with daylight lasting until well over 8 p.m., the President pushes for more meeting time and if we don't do it," said Boehner, "we're made out to look like the ones who aren't pulling our weight. We're finding less time to meet up after hours and get our stories straight and the end result is we're making some really bone-headed comments."

When Democratic lawmakers were asked about the allegations being made from the Republican side of the aisle, they just smiled and shook their heads. "They can blame their missteps on anything they like, but the fact of the matter is they can't keep track of their own realities," said Al Franken (D-Minnesota.

"If Obama and daylight savings time is responsible for their gaffes while in office," continued Franken, "then how do you explain the asinine comments being made by congressional hopefuls such as Rand Paul and Sue Lowdon who haven't even served under President Obama but who are already making a name for themselves by saying things such as business owners should be allowed to deny service to African Americans or we'd be better off with a system that allowed patients to bring a chicken to the doctor?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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