Written by Charpa93
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Wednesday, 16 June 2010

image for Gary "Dog" Faulkner Caught with Ancient Sword Intended for Anti-Christ

In a real life scene right out of a "Rambo Meets The Omen," Colorado construction worker Gary Faulkner was detained in Pakistan with several weapons, the most conspicuous of which was a 40-inch sword, which he intended to use to decapitate Osama bin Ladin.

Most folks wondered how he got as far as he did with the weapons he carried with him on a trip from the United States to Pakistan, as most of them, such as a pistol and dagger, along with the sword, had to have gone through customs, or so we're told that things such as that are picked up in customs searches.

Anyway, the fact that he got as far as he did shouldn't surprise believers in the Anti-Christ. After all, would-be slayers of the Anti-Christ can pretty much write their own ticket up to the time they actually get close enough to do the dirty deed and then whammo! The would-be Anti-Christ slayer usually ends up impaled on a fence post, by the side of the road with his eyes pecked out by ravens, or mysteriously wedged between the side of a truck and the business end of a train. Not so with Faulkner. He was just arrested unceremoniously and enjoyed a day or two of having his name splashed all over the internet.

While he is being called everything from a modern-day Rambo to the Highlander, I prefer to think of him as a cross between Dog the Bounty Hunter and the crazy Viet Nam vet that lived down the street from me years ago who stayed up all night long because the nightmares wouldn't let him sleep. Perhaps Faulkner, who we assume is crazy enough to believe he can get the mission done, should be released to finish the job. If nothing else, he should be offered his own reality television show.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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