Written by Mike Monpas
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Topics: Economy, Money

Sunday, 13 June 2010

image for U.S. Money Presses Break Down from Metal Fatigue

Printing more greenbacks than ever before, the presses at several of the Nation's currency factories have had to be shut down due to large plumes of smoke wafting from the internal gears which provide their power.

"It's just not a good situation," said Joe Hardly, foreman at the U.S. Mint in Washington D.C. "We've had these machines running around the clock for eighteen months straight, and let me be the first to tell you that it isn't just the machines that are breaking down."

Joe pointed around the room at some of his fatigued crewmembers. "You see those guys out there on the floor? Most of them haven't had more than four hours of sleep all week. They go through energy drinks by the case load, pop bennies by the handful, and I can't really blame them for smoking a little meth on their lunch breaks. Hell, if I wasn't subjected to random drug testing I'd be out there smoking it with them."

Fortunately there does seem to be help on the way. Under a new plan being devised at United Nation Headquarters, the world will soon transition to paperless currency in which credits shall be issued electronically from a central bank located deep within a secret cave located in the Norwegian Fjords.

"We're all looking forward to the day that happens," said Joe. "My guys are real patriots, they'd do anything for this country, including working themselves to death just to keep the world supplied with sweet American cash."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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