Written by Morse
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 1 June 2010

image for Tipper on Gore Divorce: Al's Carbon Footprint Just Too Heavy to Bare (sic)!
Save our Whales volunteers Work on Al & Tipper after Naked Mating Encounter Went Wrong on Vacation!

Environmentalists were shocked today to hear of the impending divorce of Al & Tipper Gore, poster-people for the safe the earth campaign which enabled the fabled inventor of the internet and the solar powered dildo to forge his way onto the list of the Fabulous Forbes Five Hundred in recent years.

Gore, whose girth has ballooned along with his wealth, has had his bloated fingers into hundreds of international behind the scenes schemes to manipulate carbon credits, hedge funds profiting on government regulations, US bank takeovers, a $90,000 all electric sports car for the 'masses', and even the oil for food scandal in the UN.

The couple, married for 40 years, were seen to be inseparable as documented when they were found intertwined on a resort beach several years ago in Georgia and casual beach goers mistakenly called on the local chapter of "Save Our Whales" to administer CPR to the lip locked couple.

Follywood celeb watchers are now waiting for the other shoe to fall after the rushed, unexpected announcement first aired on "Hairball" with Chris Matthews from CNBC.

Matthews is staunch Gore fan who also proposed the 'almost' President for his starring role in the remake of "The Blue Max" where Gore had a dual role as a flak blimp, and appeared as a hulking Hermann Goering in later life as he was awaiting his fate after the Nuremberg trials.

Gossip columnists are hitting all their usual contacts to see if the recent purchase of another Gore mansion, this one for $8.9M ocean side 'cottage' in Montecito featuring 6 bedrooms and 9 bathrooms was a clandestine effort by Al to take advantage of the adoration of his Follywood Following after his Nobel Peace Prize winning effort in "An Inconvenient Truth" which has been proven to be full of them.

Gore, like Clinton, has an unabashed desire to be loved by celebrities, most notably blonde, blue eyed and with good figures. As Gore once wistfully confessed, "If only I was a Republican, I could get close to some of those babes on Fox News...they're so hot they make my eye tear!"

Former Clinton cuddle bunny Barbra Streissand was unavailable for comment, newly on the loose Halle Berry said "he's kinda cute for a fat white guy, but just not my cup of tea."

Lindsay Lohan, home alone and on an ankle bracelet, was one Follywood personality that was less gracious. Lohan, recently in court again for a variety of typical public obnoxious exploits has been tapped to play Linda Lovelace in the infamous Lovelace Chronicles, with O.J. Simpson, if he can get a work release, to play the infamous man with the super sized penis, Johnny 'Wad" Holmes, who later died of AIDS.

Said Lohan after 2 six packs of Mellow Yellow had elevated her caffeine level to almost bouncing off the wall levels, "Al Gore....yeah...that blivet! Can't see what Tipper ever saw in him....40 years with that Dork! I did him once after the Oscars, he's just a big fat Blow Hard!"

Tipper, according to close personal friends is still traumatized after almost being crushed by her husband after a recent foray when Al tried to kindle their college days.

"How would you feel, " said one of Tipper's bridge partners, " if in the middle of the night an elephant seal tried to mount you...now thats a big F****g Deal, even if he was attracted by the smell of fresh fish!"

Make Morse's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 5?

6 24 25 11

Go to top