DOVER, Delaware - President Obama was speaking before the annual Delaware Punch Distributors Convention when he was asked about the developing military situation between North Korea and South Korea.
The president joked and said, "Now lemy get dis straight y 'all - North Korea, not nice, South Korea nice. Okay. Well da ways I sees it, dat old stupid-hairdo-ed Kim Jong Il, has done went and stepped smack-dab in a pile of yak droppings."
President Obama continued saying that he has tried his best to talk to Kimmy, but at times he felt as if he was talking to the wall or even worse to Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter.
The president said that CIA agents reported to him last week that Kim Jong Il had purchased four Paul Bunyan Type surface-to-air missiles from eBay.
He also managed to secure one from Mongolia, one from Pockystan (Pakistan), and one from Puff Diddy who reportedly owns three.
President Obama has said that in a shoot-out between the two Korea's, the U.S will most definitely side with South Korea, irregardless of what Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter, and that Nazi-uniform loving Glenn "Crybaby" Beck think.
The president has stated that he has already informed the FBI, the CIA, the Secret Service, and Arizona Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio that if any of the above four mentioned "Foxers" cause any trouble, imagined or otherwise they will be arrested.
He went on to say that they will be charged with hindering the nation's involvement in a situation that we really have no business being involved in, in the first place, but hey, this is America, and butting into other's people business is traditionally what we do.
Daddy Bush and his little boy, little Boy Bush did it, so what the hell, Brobama says he's gonna jump on the bandwagon as it is not his nature to upset the watermelon cart.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Abel actually wrote apple cart, but I took the editorial liberty of changing it to the more politically correct watermelon cart.]