Written by Charpa93
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Thursday, 20 May 2010

image for President Obama Declares War on Rush Limbaugh and Others
War of Words to be Obama's Pearl Harbor

Washingtorn, DC - In a bold move against what he perceives as the weakening of America due to the antics of a few "bad apples hell bent on profiting by keeping America divided," President Obama has decided to flex his executive powers to issue an order declaring all-out war on Rush Limbaugh and others of his ilk.

Said Obama, in a speech before the Joint Chiefs of Staff, "today we take back America by ridding it of hate mongers such as Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, and others. Limbaugh will be the first of many such people who will be taken down one by one as we begin to wipe the smug look off the faces of these so-called revolutionaries."

Lest you think the United States Army is being dispatched to Limbaugh's studio to pull the plug on his extreme message, the kind of war being waged is a war of words, not a war of weapons. Recent heated rhetoric involving a pairing of Limbaugh and Obama for a golf game became particularly nasty when the otherwise composed Obama intimated that Limbaugh could go play with himself. This, some believe, was the Pearl Harbor that started the war.

"I abhor violence," said Obama, "but I don't have a problem telling someone what I think of them and that is the first step I'm taking toward ridding this country of the derision that permeates our airwaves." In addition to waging an all out war of words with Limbaugh, President Obama is looking into a way to freeze the assets of media mogul, Rupert Murdoch, to cut off the freeflow of money to Limbaugh and other conservative pundits. "It is a common strategy and one we hope will help our cause tremendously," said Obama.

Asked if Keith Olbermann and other MSNBC news personalities are also on his verbal hit list, Obama said no, that in this particular war, he considers those to be his allies. In fact, Obama has hinted at making Comedy Central's Jon Stewart his General in charge of leading the fight against these individuals.

"But make no mistake," said Obama, "this is no laughing matter."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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