New York City, NY-- Sanitation workers made a gruesome discovery in a Sesame Street dumpster this afternoon. The body of Miss Piggy was discovered, wrapped in cellophane and half eaten.
She was found only one block from Sesame Street, where she had worked as a prostitute for many years.
Strange bite marks from an unknown giant amphibian covered the corpse. The FBI was called in, and an ex-file was opened on the case.
Dana Scully-Dogget was assigned to the case and soon found the culprit.
"This is the most horrific murder I have ever investigated." said Agent Scully-Dogget. "The victim was literally butchered. Her skin was ripped off and made into a football. Her knuckles were removed and pickled. Her cooked buttocks were sliced into thin layers and found inside a half-eaten sandwich with mustard on top." said the agent.
"What sort of sick mind would do this." she asked rhetorically.
Agent Scully-Dogget returned to Sesame Street and made a quick arrest of a giant frog named Kermit.
"The murderer was a gigantic talking frog. He still had traces of the cooked meat in between his teeth. He said that Sesame Street used to be a nice place, until the hookers moved in. He also said that he was hungry. This is truly the strangest and most brutal. ex-file I ever investigated.
After the arrest, Agent Scully-Dogget had time to stop in a New York City deli for lunch. She ate a thinly-sliced ham sandwich with mustard, along with a side-order of pig's knuckles.