In an overwhelming vote the membership of the Non-official Rifle Association approved a resolution yesterday to sell firearms to terrorists and illegal aliens.
"Damn straight," said one member. Every man, woman, and child in America has the right to have a gun, no matter who they are!"
As the festive crowd roamed the halls, looking at booths, attending meetings, and seminars, it appeared that the entire membership was "packing heat" and wearing cod pieces. Many of those with the largest cod pieces were also holding AK-47's and other large semi- automatic rifles.
One of the best attended seminars was titled: "How to make a machine gun nest in your own front yard." Attentive crowds were seen taking notes and buying brochures. The AP reports that in another seminar an emotional crowd of five hundred sat with tears in their eyes as seven year old T J. McCorkle Jr. of Louisburg, NC read his non-rhyming poem: "When Will I Be Old Enough To Kill?" NOW!" shouted a male attendee in the audience and the crowd picked up the chant with a standing ovation. "NOW! NOW! NOW," shouted the crowd.
In a brief television interview, an NRA member from Mississippi told a correspondent,"Of course, we approved the sale of guns to terrorists and illegal aliens! I'll tell you why! We see someone suspicious on the street. You know, he or she don't match our color chart. We tap him, or her, on the shoulder, he or she, turns around, and we say, Draw Pardner, and," he paused for effect, "BAM!" He continued, "no need for no damn Mirandee rights here! No extree-dition needed here neither!"
As the meeting closed for the day, a reporter from the Charlotte Observer looked back and saw little TJ. McCorkle pointing his miniature .22 caliber rifle at his father and shouting, "BAM, you Mother Fucker!"