Tampa, FL - It's official. The Republican National Committee has chosen Tampa, Florida as the site of their 2012 Republican National Convention. Delegates from all over the United States will converge on Tampa, Florida, the official "Lap Dance Capital of the World," to decide who will become their choice to run for President of the United States in 2012.
Said Michael Steele, Chairman of the RNC, "we are just so thankful to Phoenix for screwing up at the 11th hour with that horrendous immigration bill and giving us a solid reason to pull our bid for Phoenix." When asked why Salt Lake City also was no longer being considered for the site of their convention, Steele had this to say, "Salt Lake City Utah Mormons enough said."
It has not been lost on the mainstream media how ironic it is that the same committee just this past March was involved in a scandal whereby several RNC members turned in an expense report showing almost $2,000 was spent in a West Hollywood, California nightclub specializing in bondage and simulated sex acts during a trip there to recruit big-ticket political donors.
When a reporter asked Steele if Tampa was selected because of its lap dance reputation, Mr. Steele assured him it was not, although he did intimate that he was glad that Tampa won out over Phoenix and Salt Lake City. "Quite frankly, both Phoenix and Salt Lake City are just a little too conservative for our tastes," joked Steele as he ducked back into his committee meeting.