Written by P.M. Wortham
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Topics: Spam, Kosher

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

image for Kosher SPAM Hottest Seller at New York Deli
"Not quite SPAM, but there are no other sandwich pictures to pick from", Says Wortham.

Breaking a long standing tradition of pork and pork product avoidance by the Jewish community, a Kosher version of SPAM recently available at several New York Deli's has become the most popular seller, jumping ahead of Pastrami in recent weeks.

"I never knew a cloven hoof animal could taste so good", said Mel Gibson, no relation to the formerly famous actor, but a recently converted Goyim. "I love it, especially when it's fried crisp and stacked high with a nice piece of Swiss cheese and a little spicy brown mustard, and a garlic pickle on the sideĀ…" Gibson wouldn't shut up.

Critics of the supposed "Kosher" certification, question how SPAM could find a Rabbi who would actually perform the inspection of the plant and provide the certification. SPAM marketing representative, Benny Annajetz tells reporters, "Rabbi Horowitz is a big believer in the modernization of the Jewish faith, and of slow roasted BBQ ribs as well. He has certified our processing plant for cleanliness and quality and that's all I have to say".

"Some of the rules are ridiculous", says Horowitz. "Created at a time when nothing was clean. The water, farming techniques, livestock feed, even the soap was covered in poo. Pork. It's what's for dinner, baby. Baby back ribs, that is".

The 9 inch high stack fried SPAM sandwich sells for $3.95 and comes complete with your recommended annual allowance for sodium.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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