Written by P.M. Wortham
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Tuesday, 11 May 2010

image for Animal Rights Chairwoman Caught with Leather Purse
"It's NOT Leather!"

Questioned on the streets outside New York's most prestigious furrier following a recent blood smearing campaign for patrons considering a fur purchase, animal rights group chairwoman, Ivana Birgerphatt, was reportedly seen carrying a leather clutch purse.

Identified as one of the more popular clutch designs from Coach, Birgerphatt vehemently denied that it was a real designer bag or that it was based on leather at all. "It's a fake vinyl clutch, you moron", barked Birgerphatt. "How dare you insinuate that I would harm an animal".

BirgerPhatt's footwear was suspect as well, spotted by one woman just smeared with a blotch of red paint. "Why are you wearing Jimmy Choo boots and carrying Coach, then?", the woman screamed. "These are fake too!", Birgerphatt screamed back.

Pulled to the side by one reporter, the smeared woman, who was identified as one of many former Mrs., Trumps, defended her powers of observation. "She's a hypocrite. Those are Jimmy Choo 'Kirby' Boots. I'd bet my life on it. You can't fake the quality or the look", said Trump. "She's a Euro-Trash meat eater drawing a paycheck from an unsuspecting charity."

Overhearing the statement, Birgerphatt, who looked to be just shy of a hundred pounds of pasty white skin and bone, licked her finger and touched it to her rear making a sizzling sound. "At least I rock these boots, beeotch."

The fight lasted exactly 15 seconds. This reporter can validate that a pissed off former wife of a power broker can trump, (pardon the pun), a paper hanging CEO.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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