Written by Lorenzo Dunning
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Topics: Gay, George Rekers

Thursday, 6 May 2010

image for Friend Defends Rekers: "It Makes Sense to Hire a Gay Hooker to Carry Your Luggage"
Rekers' Suitcase: Packed by a Gay Prostitute?

George Rekers was accompanied on a 10-day trip to Europe by a gay male prostitute. Rekers, a Baptist minister and board member of the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality, has denied having a sexual relationship with the young man, and unlike Ted Haggard, Rekers did not even purchase methamphetamine from the gay prostitute.

Rekers insists that articles insinuating "inappropriate behavior" between the two are misleading. He also denies hiring the young man through an online gay male escort service.

A commentator explained that Rekers was merely following medical advice that required an assistant to "lift his luggage in his travels because of an ongoing condition following surgery." The statement went on to say, "His family, local friends, and even another university professor colleague have offered to accompany him on trips to assist him in his travel."

Unlike most fiscal conservatives, who would have saved money by allowing a friend or relative to accompany them on such a trip, Rekers claims that he "found his recent travel assistant by interviewing different people who might be able to help, and did not even find out about his travel assistant's Internet advertisements offering prostitution activity until after the trip was in progress."

"Wow, what are the odds of that happening?" replied Jeremy Lustleather, president of the Guild of Adult Film Actors (GAFA). "He went through a lengthy interview process and vetted several people...and the one he selected just happened to be a gay hooker."

Lustleather and Rekers have developed an unusual friendship over the years, similar to the friendship that existed between Jerry Falwell and Larry Flint. "We debate the issues," explained Lustleather in a phone interview, "then he prays for me to leave the so-called homosexual lifestyle and accept Christ."

In this situation, Lustleather has Rekers' back, so to speak. "George didn't want to burden a friend or relative with the heavy task of lifting his luggage. He told me that a strapping young man would be a better candidate for the job of lifting his basket...uh...I mean luggage."

Lustleather said he was there when Rekers interviewed several young men for the job. "I made sure I was there," laughed Lustleather. "And George did an excellent job trying to find the right man for the uh...position."

Lustleather explained, "He wanted to see how able-bodied each guy was, so he had them take their shirts off during their interviews. He asked them to flex their muscles in a series of poses. He definitely wanted to see which one had the strongest back. And then, with their backs to us, he tested their flexibility by asking them to bend over and touch their toes. George observed them very closely because he wanted to hire the fittest young man he could find to lighten his load. He even invited some of them back for a second...interview. People need to understand how much time gay men spend at the gym. It makes sense to hire a gay hooker to carry your luggage. I always do."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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