Written by Evan Essence
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Wednesday, 7 April 2010

Comcast's president, David Cohen, said today, "there will be no place for Spoof-Writers on tomorrow's Internet. These folks might as well just pack it up, and find something else to do with their time, because we aren't going to give them a forum, anymore".

Professor of political science, Barney Hampton, noted "Today's court decision, ruling aginst "Net Neutrality", effectively paves the way for COMCAST, and other corporations, to prevent Spoof Writers from spouting off on the Internet, anymore".

Cohen stated, "Free speech is really not free. It costs us something to put out internet content, and we can't give free bandwidth to these neer-do-wells....well, you know, they are usually... shall we say... marginal, unemployed derelicts, living in basement pitholes.... If they had any sense of decency and self-worth, they would develop some professional skills, and learn to market their writings."

"We have highly-skilled teams of multi-media producers, who support their families, pay for their homes, and their fancy cars, through our productions. Why should we allow the riff-raff to have free internet access, for their rantings?"

Professor Hampton concluded, "Corporations had nothing to do with the invention of the internet...but once they take control....like they do with so many other things...they will shut out the competition... and they are determined to only allow their own media content. Our only hope, to prevent absolute censorship of the Internet...is for all of the bloggers, private web-page designers, spoof-writers, and alternative free speech groups....all of the people who would be shut out by corporate control...to join together, and demand that 'Net Neutrality' be protected."

Editors note: Evan Essence received his Masters Degree in Journalism (2003), and his PhD in Political Science (2004) from House-of-Spam Internet Marketing

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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