Written by Tawdry Soup
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Topics: missing, Jamaica

Sunday, 28 March 2010

image for Trustafarians on Spiritual Quest Disappear in Jamaican Jungle
Don't worry, be happy!

The disappearance of two Trustafarians in the jungles of Jamaica has sent a mild panic through wealthy families in the U.S., who sort of wonder where their own dreadlocked dodos might be hanging out.

A few days ago a group of lawyers from Manhattan were talking about doing something to find these 32 year old kids, but outside of a call to the U.S. embassy in Kingston that went unanswered after 117 rings, not much else was done.

A spokesman for the attorney's group said the search was called off by the 5:00 cocktail hour.

"It's just terrible," cried a young woman, known as "Butterfly," who by all appearances hasn't had a bath in a month, as she claimed to be a friend of missing Justin Eastman and Marty Rothschild. "We were sitting outside a String Cheese Incident reunion show bogin' on some BC bud, when Justin came up with the idea of getting back to their Rasta roots and whatnot, and they flew to Jamaica the next day. I've sent them a thousand texts and no reply."

From eye witness accounts on the streets in Kingston, a Jamaican Posse managed to follow a trail of dreadlocked hair extensions deep into the forest to a pig farm, where the trail suddenly went cold. A tailored T-Shirt with the words "No Worries Mon" written across the front was recovered from a hog pen, and was last seen in a market booth in Ocho Rios selling for $2.50 U.S.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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