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Friday, 26 March 2010

image for Al Gore Supports Obama's 'Take Your Life' Incentive for Seniors
Old people stink!

As is the case anytime the Democrats link the words 'historic' and 'legislation' all hell breaks loose and the truth seeps through various crack pots.

In one of several aspects of Health Care reform the 'Take your Life' incentive for seniors is being championed by Al Gore, former inventor of the internet and writer of 'The Love Story'. As we know has-beens and never were's often latch on to topics of today (think satire writers) and get face time in a feeble attempt at promoting their self serving agendas; Al Gore is a master at this.

"I have indisputable evidence that Colonic discharge is what killed the Dinosaurs and if we do not act now this planet is going to swell up like a pecker on Liagra and explode." The Nobel Pizza Prize winner urged.

"These old farts just putter around with no use and are draining the Medicare system quicker than Kirstey Alley and Oprah at an all you can eat buffet. It's not just the methane they produce I have scientific proof that one of the most damaging emissions to the ozone layer is what I call OLUMP; Old Lady Urine Mask Perfume. These enemies of the state douse them selves with gallons of the stuff just so they and anyone within ten miles can't smell their leaky bladders."

Speaking of deadly emissions we turned to Washington D.C. and examined the initiative. Obama, with his vote and veto proof Health Care Reform cronies in congress, clarified the measure with a graph showing the cost of old people to the health care system. He also showed the savings to the taxpayers within 10 years if only sixty percent of the old farts voluntarily euthanized themselves; 100 billion.

"I guaranteed the $100 billion savings and now it is time for the American people to do their part. In order for America to return to greatness we need to get all Joe Plumber on their ass and unclog the drains."

When pressed for the incentive:

"As everyone knows I am God's representative on earth and if they do the right thing I will guarantee their place in heaven. What more could you ask for?"

When pressed for the moral implications of committing suicide:

"People have God all wrong. Which is a greater sin taking your life or polluting the planet to embrace an existence centered on your next proctology appointment?"

When asked about the fact that suicide is illegal:

"We have decided that the military had it right all along with it's don't ask don't tell policy. We have already won support of the various law enforcement agencies and all we had to do was promise to bail out their bankrupt pension plans."

When asked how much that would cost the taxpayers but already knowing it would be just under a trillion:

"923 billion and that includes all federal and state law enforcement but not fire fighters, we will need another bailout for them."

Ti Cuff - what comes after trillion?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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