Written by Cuff
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Topics: Al Gore, Dinosaurs

Wednesday, 24 March 2010

image for Al Gore: Dinosaurs not Killed by Asteroid!
Dinosaurs do survive!

In an effort to claim another Nobel Prize Al Gore, former inventor of the internet, announced today that asteroids were not the cause of the Cretaceous era extinction.

The news came after the discovery of a new species that had been frozen in perfect condition deep beneath the North Pole.

"The people that pay me what to say have been panicking about this winter's record low temperatures. I helped sponsor an expedition, supported by the Royal Society, with ten thousand space heaters and generator in hopes to maintain our Global Warming fear mongering. Screw that this is cooler."

A thousand feet into the ice the two beasties were found, both male, in a position that looked extremely painful and each looking amazingly like two hundred foot long Humvees.

At first Gore pondered the queer aspect and obvious lack of progeny output as the demise but when an on site autopsy was performed the reason became apparent. A chainsaw incision into the lower abdomen punctured the six hundred foot long colon and a million cubic feet of high grade methane erupted, ignited, and incinerated the entire site. Mr. Gore was not harmed; apparently dinosaurs do survive.

"The theory is simple." Mr. Gore announced from his Hollywood Hills home. "At one time the world was full of these creatures and they dominated the land and seas. All they did was eat, make little dinosaurs, and fart high octane methane. Then one day when the atmosphere was barely breathable a bolt of lightning struck and viola!"

Having the honor of naming a new species. "I thought first about Alsasoreass but that would remind everyone about my failed Presidential campaign so I'm going with Fartnsoreass Rex."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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