Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: America, Health Care

Monday, 22 March 2010

image for Sick Man Who Moved Americans To Tears Was A Fake
Mr President Won't Be Smiling For Long

The 'sick' elderly gentleman who appeared on primetime national television last night appealing for support for the President's healthcare reforms has been exposed as a fake.

In what was described as the most moving, articulate speech ever delivered to the nation, a man claiming to be named George Lincoln appealed on behalf of the healthcare reforms upon which the President is staking his office.

The frail, wheelchair-bound man told how he was born with polio to a poor family in rural Nebraska, how he recovered from tuberculosis as a teen in time to enlist to serve his country in South East Asia, where he was shot in the legs and went on to develop medical complications through contact with Agent Orange and Thai prostitutes.

In a wavering voice, he described how he had been diagnosed HIV Positive through an infected blood transfusion following an accident with a faulty stripping machine at the meat packing plant where he worked.

He tearfully described how that event put paid to his boxing career, and led to him being thrown out of the National Guard. He was shot again in 1998 as he attempted single handedly to clear his neighborhood of drug gangs and crack houses. On this occasion, his dedication almost cost him his life. Mercifully, emergency surgery spared him.

He told of how he helped people evacuate the World Trade Center on 9/11/2001 and of how the dust later ate into his lungs, crippling him with emphysema, of how he lost his beloved wife to the H1N1 swine flu virus just last year.

Mister Lincoln stated that had it not been for charitable donations from friends and well wishers, he would never have been able to afford all the healthcare which has kept him alive. because he can't afford health insurance.

Now, his body racked by arthritis he strongly considers that health care should be a right, not a privilege. In closing, he hailed President Obama, and pledged his eternal alliegance to the American flag.

But it was all a cunningly crafted publicity stunt. As decent Americans cried their eyes out in sympathy, outraged that a man could be treated so shabbily by his country, 'George Lincoln' was seen to remove his wig, peel off his latex mask, rise from his wheelchair and start doing stretching exercises in a backstage dressing room.

It transpires that 'George Lincoln' was really Oscar-winning actor Al Pacino all along, giving what many now regard as his finest ever performance.

The revelation which kind of leaves the President in a bit of a pickle.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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