Written by Evan Essence
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Friday, 17 December 2004

image for Schwarzenegger's Profile Appears on New Megan's Law Sex Offenders Website

Californians who log onto the new Megan's Law website, to find out whether their neighborhoods are safe from sexual offenders, may be surprised to find the photo, address and other information about California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger listed in the database, along with information about 63,000 other sexual predators.

The database, authorized by the State Legislature this year, was placed online yesterday, allowing citizens to find out exactly how many sex offenders are around schools, near parks and in specific neighborhoods, with details that include their offenses, pictures and exact addresses.

Under Schwarzenegger's photo is a long list of sexual transgressions, exceeding in number many of the other predators on the website. Seventeen woman have filed charges of groping, spanking or touching inappropriately.

Schwarzenegger earned the nickname "Gropenegger" for his style of hit-and-run groping of women he had never met before.

A 51-year old-woman said Schwarznegger pinned her to him and spanked her repeatedly three years ago at a West Los Angeles post-production studio.

Hollywood stuntwoman, Rhonda Miller told reporters that he had accosted her in his makup trailer, lifitng her shirt and photographing her breasts.

British broadcast host Anna Rcihardson said he asked if her breasts were real, and then pulled her onto his knee, circled her nipple with his finger, squeezed it and announced, "Yeah, they are real." Reporter Denise Van Outen said he slapped her bottom, then brushed his arm against her breast.

Some have tried to dismiss these complaints as politically motivated fabrications. However, those who have followed his Hollywood career agree that Schwarzenegger created his own legend, over his entire adult lifetime. Schwarzenegger's uncontrollable impulses apparently started as an adolescent, when his Nazi father ridiculed him for his lack of romance. So he moved in with a teenage stripper. Ever since then his sexuality has known no bounds.

In a 1977 article in Oui Magazine, Schwarzenegger described his participation in a gang rape in a locker room. His multiple sexcapades included having a longterm sexual relationship with an underage girl, even though he was married.

Schwarzengger's defenders say that when he became governor, he took the State's mandatory Sexual Harassment Prevention Training, and has not groped anybody since becoming governor. But women's groups are saying that reform of sexual predators rarely is effective, and they do not feel safe, unless they know whether he is in their neighborhood. Therefore, they are demanding that he wear an electronic collar, which will transmit his whereabouts to the webpage, for easy tracking.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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