Written by IDIOT
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Thursday, 25 February 2010

image for The Tea Party Is Just A Republican 2.0 Reboot
You won't be seeing these signs anymore if the Tea Partiers have anything to say about it.

Just as the new Star Trek movie breathed life into an old, sad, overdone franchise, so the Tea Party is to the Republican Party. No more older men in bad toupees and corsets. Now there are younger, more attractive versions of your favorite original Star Trek characters for you to be entertained by and crazier versions of Republicans "characters" for you to vote for.

So if the new Star Trek was carefully rebooted, then the Tea Party must be a careful restructure of the Republican party. Given the terrible way the Party, via the Bush II Administration, ran the country into the ground in 8 years, they definitely needed a rebranding. Since the old GOP was big into spending on EVERYTHING, this new Tea Party thinks we should go back to our countries origins. This means: no EPA, no Public Schools or Universities, no FDA, no Medicare or Medicaid, no Social Security, no regulation on anything.

Those nice people in corporations have our best interest at heart (NOT profits), so they don't need regulation and we cannot afford the taxes anyways. Taxes were the reason for the original Tea Party, so why not try to eliminate any reason for taxes, the whole "taxation without representation" thing is a historical revisionist leftist plot to rob hard-working Joe six-packs. Probably the US Postal Service (set up by Benjamin Franklin) was a bad idea as well; good old Ben was well meaning, bless his heart, but stupid. The military would (I guess) be made up of self-armed State Militias, where our enemies would take our guns from our cold, dead, hands. Death via ridiculous diet/erectile dysfunction drugs or by terribly contaminated meat could be called "the price of freedom" and those dead people would be called patriots.

This would relieve us of taxes, well mostly, we would still have to pay for the politicians paychecks. But really, without all that regulation, what do we even need leaders for? Well maybe they won't go that far.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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