Never mind the saved lives. Never mind the safer road conditions. But do mind the extra revenue, since it is not enough. That is what many lawmakers are saying about the "success" of speed cameras on our nation's roadways.
Well I say absolutely! Isn't that what the government is all about but making money? Who actually cares about people who aren't lucky enough to survive a multi-car crash cause some idiot decides to take an extra 60 minutes sleeping in and an extra 2 minutes jerking-off in the shower, but they can't be late to work or they will get fired for real this time! 110 should be the maximum speed allowed, not this wimpy 65mph!
And kudos to all those who put reflective paint on their license plates, or wearing monkey masks to try to get out those invasive tickets. This is America, where it is all for yourself and nothing for anyone else, if you get in my way too bad homey! Why should we care about the welfare of others like those damn Europeans and Canadians!
So tear down all those speed cameras, who cares if that newborn in the minivan you just totaled was the next Einstein. That stupid parent shouldn't have been in your way.
Hats off America for making something that is common sense and better for the country sound like a the next apocalypse. Next it is time to get rid of those pesky taxes, cause what do the Police and Fire Departments actually do for you anyways?
Wednesday, 17 February 2010
CHIP's say "NO!!! Keep the cameras, we don't want to have to go back to doing our jobs!"
Make IDIOT's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)
The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.
If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
RSS
Follow us on Twitter
More fake news stories
Taboo Tastes of a Tubby Toddler
Champaign, Illinois: America's corn-feed children not so content with what's on the menu. Local boy, Timothy Withers, son of Shirley and Michael Withers, weighs a very robust sum of 123 pounds. The boy stands at 3 feet tall, and has an appetite of a...
Cleaver craze gives under-pressure Obama the perfect distraction
A dangerous new cleaver-juggling craze in America threatens to cut a deep gash in the population as President Obama, clearly bedraggled from recent Congress pressure, declared his support for the extreme sport.
The craze was started by Lincoln Abr...
NASA To Sue The Netherland Antilles
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The National Aeronautics Space Administration is reportedly in the process of suing the Netherland Antilles.
According to NASA spokesperson General Langston P. Kokomo, the space administration has learned that the government of...
New Mexico Bans Piñatas
SANTA FE - In a move that has really angered many parents and pleased others, the senate of the state of New Mexico has just banned piñatas by a vote of 23-19.
For anyone who may not know exactly what piñatas are, they are containers made out of c...
Cross dresser with Alzheimer's Arrested
Jackie LaTour, aka Jackie LaTour, was arrested late on Tuesday, for creating a disturbance at the Cracker Barrel on North fourth street. He, was creating a disturbance inside the store. blocking the entrances to both the Women's and the Men's restroo...
Proposed new nation for terrorist organization
Abube ben Azir, announced at a press conference this morning held at the spacious Spud Cellar Hotel in Boise, Idaho, that his organization, "Terrorists R Us" has applied for recognition and a seat at the United Nations.
"We recently purchased Boi...
Paper Plane's Protracted Problems Persist
The new Boing Night-Terrors airliner continues to be plagued by major technical faults. One was diverted to Denver International for an emergency landing yesterday. A fire in the tail section was the cause this time. Terrified passengers escaped from...
Republicans convinced that Obama is sending out SECRET signals
A research unit located at Marist College in Poughkeepsie, New York, recently analyzed a speech by Barack Obama. They had received a grant from the RNC who asked them to analyze the speech in an attempt to detect any "secret" or "hidden" messages tha...