Written by Gail Farrelly
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Topics: Dogs, mugging

Saturday, 13 February 2010

image for Brooklyn Dog Mugged, Barks Description of Mugger to Police Canine Unit
He took the victim's statement.

The crime occurred last week outside a grocery story in Park Slope, where the dog, Moxie, had been tied up for a short time by her owner while she shopped. When the owner came out of the store, she found a shivering, traumatized Moxie. The poor pooch, a petite cocker spaniel, had been mugged and his beautiful navy blue coat, embroidered with leather dog biscuits, stolen!

He would have preferred to go home and just veg out in his doghouse. No way! He told himself he was from Brooklyn -- home of the Brooklyn Bridge, the Brooklyn Dodgers, the place where the world famous U-Bet Chocolate Syrup and the Egg Cream were invented. There was a proud heritage to uphold. When you're from Brooklyn, you're not a quitter! He regained his composure and marched right down to the police station, where he met with a member of the canine unit and calmly barked out all the details of the crime.

Five hours later, thanks to the precise description provided by Moxie and the excellent neighborhood surveillance, the perp (Buddy, a boxer who weighs a lot more than Moxie) was taken into custody. The big dog from the Bronx had squeezed his body into Moxie's little coat and was without shame roaming the streets of Brooklyn. What a disgrace!

Since the stolen coat was stretched out beyond repair, Moxie's proud owner brought him to the dog store and bought him a new one.

All's well that ends well.

Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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