It was announced late yesterday that as long as horny Americans continue to have sex in the front seat of their cars, there is nothing which can be done to alleviate the stuck pedal problem - they will simply continue to get stuck with gizzum.
Eighty Seven Year Old Pernie Blether called UP2 and stated that that was a lie. His gas pedal stuck on him and his wife of 55 years, Nancy, even before they had sex in the front seat of his Toyota Camry.
"Furthermore, I have proof", stated Blether. "Now what was it I was talking about? Gizzum! Exactly! I hardly produce a few drops and this happened before we did the dirty on our anniversary."
Reminded that he had told me that part already, Blether hit himself in the back of the head and continued.
"I LIKE telling that part, sonny. But the proof I have is that on BOTH occasions the Jaws of Life people and the fire department had to come get us out!"
"You go back and check those records. The FIRST time was when the pedal stuck and we rammed the fence, two cows and had a bull attack us. Then it was the second time that the pitiful few drops of gizzum got on the car, cause my back went out and Nancy had a Charlie Horse in her left ass cheek and we got stuck until my son arrived and heard me blowing the horn in the garage."
"Now Mr. Sneaky Pearl Harbor Man, there's your proof!"
"They're trying to turn us all of us into Kamikazes."