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Wednesday, 3 February 2010

image for President Obama Cancels Moon Landing, Praises NASA's Unheard of Achievements
"Don't Fly me to the Moon!"

Greenbelt MD: President Obama came to the headquarters of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) to explain his decision to put a new manned space flight program to the moon on hold.

The president, via a C-SPAN TV hookup to all NASA installations, apologized for the necessary funding cuts caused by former President George W. Bush's reckless spending habits. He indicated his administration was trying to control deficits, as exemplified by his proposed $3.8 trillion 2011 budget sent to Congress ($1.6 trillion projected deficit).

The president was ecstatic that the USA would again someday go to the moon, "not because it is easy but because we choose to do it!" In the interim his environmental priorities, including saving the Polar Bears (which have not been multiplying rapidly enough) and bankrupting the country's energy industry, must continue. "I will not give up!"

He went on to say that NASA has had its Tang (orange juice) moments in space and been to the moon several times after Apollo 11 made the initial landing. In other words "you been there, done that." The NASA scientists, engineers and managers (men, women and chimpanzees) should all be proud of their pioneering accomplishments in space exploration. However, little or no recognition has been given to the new technologies that have bettered people's lives the world over, some examples.

Teflon: Condoms that last forever.

Super Glue: The first improvement in chastity belts in 700 years.

Fiber Optics: The improved Colonoscopy scope.

Lasers: Improvements to cosmetic surgery for Hollywood stars.

Solar Cells: The portable cordless vibrator.

Space Shuttle Remote Arm: Viagra.

Advanced Plastics/Silicon Compounds: Bigger/better boob jobs.

Microelectronic TV Sensors: Provides transparency into college sorority houses.

Additionally, President Obama told the NASA engineers and scientists that his new jobs program, if Congress approves it, will allow eligible technical personnel to seek early retirement or find new jobs in the private sector.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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