No Possibility of Parole
The Hague, December 11, 2008
The disgraced former President of the United States was convicted today for multiple counts of war crimes and crimes against humanity. However, in a controversial decision, the Special War Crimes Tribunal meeting in The Hague decided against imposing the harshest penalty available for George W. Bush and his chief co-conspirators.
Instead the man whose ultra-hard-right nationalistic policies are blamed for the malicious deaths of tens of thousands of Iraqis and thousands of deluded American military personnel, will serve out a term of life in prison without the possibility of parole.
The prosecution, whose case was built largely upon the damning testimony of former Secretary of State Colin Powell, recommended leniency for the former hero of the First Gulf War in return for his cooperation in the case.
Bush, wearing leg shackles and handcuffs, burst into tears upon hearing his sentence. His elderly mother and father, also a former president, were helped from the courtroom after the verdict.
As he was being led away, Bush stated, "I didn't do anything wrong. The war was necessary they had weapons of mass destruction. God told me to bomb them! He told me to do it!"
Other members of the Bush regime to be convicted included former propaganda chief Scott McClellan, former war chief Donald Rumsfeld and his lap dog deputy Paul Wolfowitz.
Former Vice President Dick Cheney and National Security Advisor Dr. Condoleezza Rice are still fugitives from justice and are widely thought to be hiding with neo-Fascist groups in South America, likely in Brazil or Argentina. Cheney is reportedly receiving treatments in a back-water clinic for his experimental bionic heart.
When asked for his thoughts on this saddest of chapters in American history, President John F. Kerry, remarked, "The people of the world can take some comfort in the fact that this global tragedy of mass deceit, manipulation and murder has finally come to an end. Only now might we begin the long healing process with the community of nations."
The popular President Kerry, who was recently re-elected in a landslide, also announced that he would grant a presidential pardon to Colin Powell for his assistance in bringing the Bush regime to justice.