Mount Saint Helens lets it out

Friday October 1, 2004 Mount Saint Helens had a so called "eruption." But was it really? According to Dr. Vulcansniger, a Vulcan Practologist, it is not so. "When they called me in to give my hypothesis, I decided to take a closer look. Surprisingly I found the source to the 'eruption'. Sombody I believe thought it would be funny to give the magestic volcanoe extreme gas. I found a case of Bush's Baked beans remenants down where the eruption took place, at the rear of the volcanoe," reported Dr. Vulcansniger.
The Government is asking the people of the surronding area to please refrain from feeding the volcanoe in the future, as more eruptions are likely to happen. The cans have been taken to a local police station for a thorough examination and for finger printing.
Lawyers are trying to say the Bush's Baked Beans company had a hand in it as a way to help with the advertising. Because of the bean remenants found in the crater, scientists are beging to believe it was also connected to the eruption in 1980. The government is reinvestigating the eruption of 1980.
If all that is believed is correct, Mount Saint Helens has a gas problem enough to wipe out the state of Hawaii. Scientists are also asking that you do not feed other volcanoes any kind of bean products and similiar results may occur.
"If Bush's Baked Beans are powerful enough to cause a volcanic "eruption" imagine what it could give you. Your best bet would be to refrain from buying thier beans if at all possible. And unless you wish to create a new volcanoe, please keep from dropping any beans in any hole you might find. We do not know what will happen" says Dr. Vulcansniger at the briefing before evacuation on Saturday.
If you have any information on who might have tossed the beans in to the crater of Mount Saint Helens please call 1-(800)-555-5555.