In a shock today, millions of Americans that tried to pretend they were English were found out as fakes in two seconds by the few Britons that bother to write for this website, especially when they were a-talkin' about that totally uninteresting British company called Cadbury Bournville.
'The chances of a real Brit even vaguely caring about a chocolate manufacturer or whether it's owned by Americans or by Martians or by a dog is about as likely as Britons caring what the USA does. In other words, not at all', commented Sir Twirly Whirly from Dudley. In England. Next door to Wales.
As fake Brits burst into tears across the internet at the news - and also at the shocking news that the worldwideweb isn't the internet - one Britannic said :'When I sit here in Washington wondering where this town got its name from, I simply look up UK news on the webnet and think I know all about the United Kingdom.'
'You know, that place that invented the USA. And then I take three minutes to 'write' some tosh about that country which I have never even visited, let alone know a single thing about. In other words, I'm an online American.'
Online Americans have become a gift for millions of satirists, especially in the UK, as they know nothing and think they're smart, but one such online American - President Barack Hussein Obama - had this to say about the phenomenal phenomana:
'Let us now say', he now said, 'now we can say that now we can say that, now we can say that, now - we -can -say!', which summed up perfectly the 250 million people that the British sent across the Atlantic Ocean to try and learn how to write satire, but have yet to achieve such a simple task.
Baseball was invented by the English. As was the US national anthem and flag. And language. And culture. There must be something that Americans are good at. Er ... Not pretending to be British, anyway. Wonder why the English let that feeble colony go?