Written by Stefano M. Stefano
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Wednesday, 6 January 2010

It turns out that one of America's favorite places to drink rum, listen to Reggae, and get mugged five blocks from their hotel, has revealed itself as one of America's strongest allies in the War On Terror.
For decades, Americans have enjoyed the hospitality of this small, beautiful country, and welcomed the friendliness of the people to the point of teasing them for their stereotypical term, "Yea, Mon!" on countless talk shows, sitcoms, and stand-up routines.
No more, however, as Amerioan terrorism experts have finally realized the truth; that Jamaicans have been trying to warn us of the dangers of another small country, Yemen, a country hanging off the ass-end of Saudi Arabia.
Yemen has recently garnered attention because of failed terrorism plots, the fact that half of the prisoners at Gitmo are Yemenese, and that the Yemenese think Grey Poupon mustard is a beverage.
The Jamaican people have long been telling any American who would listen that Yemen is a danger to them. As in;
American; "Excuse me, sir, but can you tell me if Iraq is going to attack us?"
Jamaican: "Yea, Mon!" (In reality, his accent is distorting the name, 'Yemen'.)
American: "That's terrible! Should we attack them first?"
Jamaican: "Yea, Mon!"
American: "Will we find weapons of mass destruction there or somewhere else?"
Jamaican: "Yea, Mon!"
American: "Oh, my God! So we should attack--"
Jamaican: "YEA, MON!!!"
American: "Thank you, citizen!"
So as you can see, Americans have had one of their staunchest allies watching their back for decades.
And making damn fine rum while they were at it!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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