In an announcement that stunned the world, NASA has announced that an asteroid will hit the heartland of the US in 2010 and will wipe out the entire country. As millions flocked to the streets and jammed telephone lines seeking more information, The T-Baggers of America held a press conference to celebrate the potential disaster.
T.J. McCorkle, chairman of a group in Louisburg, NC was joined by several hundred members and said, "This is the day that we have been waiting for since "you know who" was elected president. God is answering our prayers and our country will be purged of the commies, the socialists, the negroes, the Jews, and the faggots. It will be our country once again. This is a day to rejoice"
A reporter asked Mr. McCorkle, "But Mr. McCorkle, won't you be wiped out too? Why are you celebrating?" McCorkle replied, "Our mommas didn't raise no stupid kids. We knew our prayers would be answered, so we been building our bomb shelters, making our fruit cellars bigger, stocked up on assault rifles and ammunition and believe you me, we are ready to kill to protect our own. Of course, most of us here are relation anyhow and we will take this country back. There won't even be no Injuns to deal with," and he laughed. The group then joined hands and sang in unison,
"My country tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing ."
In other breaking news, it is reported that Dick Cheney has moved to an undisclosed location but was last seen slapping his thighs, laughing uncontrollably and shouting: