Written by Rebut
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Topics: Florida, Hurricane

Sunday, 5 September 2004

image for Frances Gores Florida
Florida you say?

News breaking from the Florida Hurricane center is that Hurricane Frances is in fact a Gore on her mother's side and Charley is her little brother. It seems as if the Gore family haven't really taken the last presidential election lying down. Hurricanes generally come in wild and exciting and run off leaving you penniless...more an ex-wife than a natural phenomena really.

As Frances made landfall on the Florida East Coast, panic stricken residents swear that the beast could be heard saying "recount, I'll give you a f*cking recount". Then it went about uprooting and smashing every bush it could find.

Scientists monitoring Frances said they were impressed with the way she carried herself : "She came here to prove a point, to show a grave wrong had been done to Al Gore in this very state, she's smashed everything in sight but never once resorted to saying that she was in a Swift in Cambodia on Christmas Day 1968."

CNN meteorologist Jacqui Jeras said it would take the Hurricane Eye between 10 to 12 hours to cross the Florida Coast. Somewhat slow it is seen as Frances response to the Florida recount or simply put ; an eye for an eye.

A burning Bush said that he foresaw a time when the Hurricane would burn itself out but the great people of Florida would rise up again. Al Gore responded by saying that the last time people listened to a burning bush they wandered the desert for 40 years.

Gov. Jeb Bush told State and Federal officials that they were mounting tremendous response effort to the Category 2 storm. He warned that people had to be patient before returning as they had never seen anything like this before.

On reflection and seeing the damage that one lady bent on retribution can do he said : "Well other than Susan Sarandon but no more than that".

Michael Brown director of FEMA said that the ground was starting to saturate and trees were falling on top of telephone poles. Despite this the military has not been called in.

When he was pressed on why they hadn't been called in as yet, he said that while they may be of some assistance, the sight of those generals at the press conferences was more than he could bear : "Yes, madam it looked like a storm but wasn't really a storm, when the trees were falling down on our APC's we knew it was Al Quaiada not Al Gore at work."

Hurricane Frances continues today and our intrepid reporters will keep you posted with the latest developments as and when they happen.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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