Orange County, Florida: In a new development to the Tiger Woods Brands Inc., the Rat Meat Processors Association President, Herr Pied Piper has issued a Tiger's Rat Meat 'Health Warning'. From his office in Hamelin, Germany, Herr Pied Piper released the following statement;
"Following the hospital admittance of Elin Nordegran's mother, Mrs Holmberg due to stomach pains, we can confirm that after a period of on "advanced life support", Mrs Holmberg is now in a stable condition and still being treated."
"We wish to advise that Tiger's rat meat is an acquired delicacy and should be eaten in moderation, especially in the early period when the body needs to acclimatise to the special nutritional 'enhancements' of Tiger's rat meat!"
"We understand Mrs Holmberg ate quite a lot of Tiger's rat meat and has an upset stomach! Again, we advise all Tiger's rat meat eaters to eat in moderation, epecially over the Christmas period. Merry Christmas to all of you, it is a time of goodwill!"
That is the end of the statement by Herr Pied Piper and certainly the world wide broadcasts of Mrs Holmberg being carried from the ambulance into the nearby Health Central Hospital on a stretcher, citing an Orange County Fire Rescue log showing that the person initially refused to be transported, but was later placed on "advanced life support.
A spokesman at Health Central Hospital has also confirmed Herr Pied Pipers statement that Mrs Holmberg is still being treated there today. Mrs Holmberg is in stable condition after being admitted for stomach pains. Mrs Holmberg is in a private room and has been visited by unspecified family members, according to the Health Central Hospital's spokesman.