Tiger Woods Kitchen, Orange County, Florida: In this exclusive interview with Elin Nordegren, Spoofy Doofy was able to gain access to the Tiger Woods household and interview his wife Elin Nordegren.
Having been to some war zones around the world such as Iraq, Afghanistan, the Falklands and Vietnam reports SpoofyDoofy, I wasn't surprised at the state of the inside of Tiger Woods house. A lot of the plaster was off the walls and parts of the ceilings were down in many of the rooms.
As I had come to interview Elin Nordegren about her cooking and new branding of 'food', I thought it unwise to ask her about the disintegration of the inside of her house as I 'crunched' over the fallen plaster on the floor from the front door into the kitchen.
So naturally, the first question was how was the cooking going?
Elin Nordegren response, "I want this statement to be your headline, "I feed MY Tiger with rat meat, it makes me feel good!!"
"So what will be the new branding of this delicacy?" I casually asked over a cup of green tea, that was now in my hands.
"Tiger's rat meat!" replied Elin Nordegren and then continued, "It was the British ITV show, 'I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!' that gave me the idea. I then spoke to Herr Pied Piper, the Rat Meat Processors Association Life President, who is based in Hamelin, Germany."
As a way of continuing the 'confession', I asked nonchalently, "So what did Herr Pied Piper of Hamelin have to say?"
Elin Nordegren smiled, "Herr Pied Piper of Hamelin suggested that I should start the 'Tiger's rat meat!' brand as a way of enlightening the worldwide public to the benefits of cooking and eating rat meat!"
As a way of concluding the interview, Elin Nordegren read out a statement from a piece of paper, "Lives are being lost in the world due to starvation, whilst there is in fact a plentiful supply of rat meat everywhere, that could be used to give people the nutritional support they need!"
Sensing I had a chance to ask only one further question, I rounded up with, "Thank you Elin Nordegren for the interview. Where is your husband, Tiger Woods?"
Elin Nordegren, smiled sweetly, "Tiger is in the cold store, with the other rat meat!!"
I left the family home of Tiger Woods, which is now being run with the use of a golf club....