Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 11 November 2009

image for Dancing With The Stars Aaron Carter Booted Off The Show
Aaron Carter shown as he heard Tom Bergeron announce he had been eliminated.

HOLLYWOOD - Former teen idol Aaron Carter is the latest Dancing With The Stars contestant to be eliminated from the show.

Carter who many felt early on was the odds-on-favorite to win did not cry this time like he has in the past when he has been given low scores and bad reviews by the judges.

Aaron's partner Karina Smirnoff, the Vodka heiress, said that she told Aaron that if he cries on camera one more time she will not let him play with her (blanks) anymore like she has allowed him to do in the past.

Carter, who is actually young enough to be Karina's much younger little brother promised her that he will try to act like a grownup man and not cry.

Meanwhile the other dancer who found herself in the bottom two was the green-haired, chubby faced, muchly tattooed Kelly Osbourne daughter of the mean, old witch who earlier in the week had said that Susan Boyle looked like a slapped arse, which is a British term for ass.

Osbourne also remarked on the New York radio show called 'The Piddle Makers' that Ms. Boyle looked like she had been hit with an ugly stick.

DWTS co-producer Curtis Verflippet hired six extra security guards to make sure that Sharon Osbourne did not enter the auditorium.

Verflippet gave the guards strict orders that if Mrs. Osbourne tried to force her way into the building that they were to ask her to immediately stop. And is she did not respond they were to hit her with pepper spray.

Verflippet was asked that what if the pepper spray did not stop her since she is a bit of a strong lunatic fringe individual. He smiled and said that if she resists the pepper spray to just simply go ahead and put the taser gun to her.

He said that if the situation warrants that she needs to be tasered that the taserer will receive a bounty of $2,000 on top of his $500 fee.

The shows director Mason Kippflavor said that Carrie Ann Inaba had remarked to him that it was against the law to taser anyone before a live television studio audience.

Kippflavor told Miss Inaba to mind her own fluckin' business or he would call the immigration department and have her butt shipped to Cambodia.

Miss Inaba became highly offended and said that she was not from Cambodia. Kippflavor replied that he never said that she was from Cambodia that he said that he would ship her butt to Cambodia.

He further went on to tell her that if she disrespected him just one more time that he would fire her and give her five minutes to gather up her makeup, wigs, and chopsticks and get off the property.

He mentioned to her that he has Paula Abdul already waiting in the wings and the ex-Laker girl, ex-wife of Emilio Estevez, and ex-American Idol judge is chomping at the bit to take her place.

When Susan Boyle sang she literally blew the audience away with her song "I Dreamed A Dreamed" which she twisted around a little bit by singing part of the song in English and part in Spanish.

SIDENOTE: After the show Susan Boyle met with her all-time idol Donny Osmond. The two talked about Utah, Scotland, Nairobi, vocal cords, and cellulite. Osmond said that he and Susan have agreed to record the old Sonny and Cher hit "I've Got You Babe."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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